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2 Vials 1 Malk

Killa a posted Apr 3, 14

{Written by fushi}

Every week since September 24th, Killa has been rolling coins on Malkorok. In the 19 weeks we've been killing him on normal, exactly one trinket has dropped. But this week, oh this week. This week we killed Malkorok on heroic.

2 Vials 1 Malk...

<H Nazgrim had no write up but F that guy in the A as well, hes dead>

ANCIENT RECORDS OF WAR IN ORGRIMMAR FOUND

Matticus a posted Feb 1, 14

Anthropologists today located a cache of ancient scrolls and poorly-bound books describing the final hours of a previously unknown battle which took place in some time around 41 KC during the infamous Siege of Orgrimmar. While it isn't completely clear where most of the fighting took place, key research figures are in agreement that the bulk of the documents describe two distinct areas which may be found in the ruins of the Valley of Strength.

It appears that the forgotten warriors laying siege to the city had a number of legions sent up the largest hill in order to drive a wedge between two generals of the defending army. When this reporter questioned why such a maneuver would be used, a senior researcher (who asked not to be identified) shrugged and suggested that "perhaps that's just the way these ancient tacticians went about things."

He then went on to describe how a second (yet equally sizeable force) was used in a highly irregular fashion by hiding amongst the scattered buildings and using various types of ranged weaponry to slowly wear the enemy's commander down. It's unclear why the Orgrimmarian general didn't deal with the insurgents via the time honored tradition of "killing the ones in dresses" first, but according to historical reports he definitely spent the majority of the battle tracking a single well-armored invader through the city while ignoring the obvious threat.

One odd detail that the Center for Orgrimmarian Antiquity was hesitant to release is that the invading army had a particular dislike for the native dogs. Of course, this explains the curious mass graves that were found earlier this year and makes one wonder whether the majority of members in the early civilization known as the Alliance hated animals as much as these brutal records suggest.

Also of note: amongst the cache was found an emblem reading "CQG." The significance of the letters remains a topic of debate.

Heroic Iron Juggernaut is laid low

Killa a posted Jan 23, 14

We did it team, six Heroic fights down and eight to go. Today we celebrate the fearsome Juggernaut laid low at our feet. Conquest has officially taken the Siege within the walls of Orgrimmar.

The mechanical behemoth had little hope against such a truly awesome group of raiders, this we all know. However! What few of us have realized was the secret X-factor that got us through that glorious evening. The night in which we downed not one but two progression fights!

The x-factor of which I speak is of course, our love of wiping on Norushen & Sha of Pride.

The very next day we ventured back into the vaults below The Vale. There we stacked our corpses high, a tribute to the increasingly disappointed Norushen, may his facepalms be many.

So heed now my warning! Stomp not a single rift, never soak your projection and above all... Ignore the prisons. Lest we down the Sha of Pride and are forced to yet again do actual progression.

I for one would not want to live in a world that didn't consist of wiping ad infinitum to the sounds of the Sha's laughter. I wretch at the very thought.

I hope you feel the same,
Yours truly,
Trick

comments

Zarinth I thought the x-factor is Inada always missing.

Trick I don't remember writing this.

Glorious leader solo's Heroic Galakras

Killa a posted Jan 7, 14

On a cold winter’s day, as fore told by an unseasonal swallow and heralded by a double rainbow THEE Matticus was born on the top of Grouse Mountain to the delight of his people. At the same time a new star appeared that lit up the sky. From his earliest days, THEE Matticus was destined to be a great raider; records show that he learned to mouse turn at 3 weeks old and kill heroic bosses at 8 weeks old. When he was a teenager he corrected and chastised his fellow raiders for incorrectly interpreting what was causing the wipes.

Later THEE Matticus went on to write 1,500 blogs in a mere 2 years. He also wrote his own music to WoW which he listens to, all of which is better than any in the history of music. Also THEE Matticus has the ability to alter a raid simply through his power of thought.

Recently THEE Matticus watched the battle of Galakras with concentration. Sensing his raids tension, THEE Matticus asked how many waves of adds the People’s Raid were fighting. The Raid answered that the waves numbered 9 but everyone was dead and the Boss still had to be killed. THEE Matticus confidently said that although the balance of forces was against him, THEE Matticus would win if he fought courageously because this boss was "shit"

With that Waves of enemy’s caught fire and they went down one after the other. THEE Matticus was delighted to single handedly defeat the boss in heroic combat proving once again why he is glorious leader. (Picture above exemplifies Glorious leaders raiding superiority and we should all be grateful he graces us with his presence).

PS Next time someone take a picture with everyone on the kill if I’m not there k?

comments

Subastian Chewy your clearly just jealous that your not the one who solo'd the boss ...

Chewbamboo Id like to point out that we all would have ran back if anyone had remembered to tell us to pose. Matt graciously kept ...

Happy 2014!

Matticus a posted Dec 30, 13

Dear morons,

As much as I hate all of you, I just wanted to say what a terrible year it's been for me raiding with each and every single one of you. However, I will say that I just barely tolerated spending time with you lot at BlizzCon this year. I hope to not see you again in 2014. I dread each and every single night raiding with you. Your uncanny abilities to find new and creative ways to die will never cease to amaze me. My desk actually has an imprint of my forehead. My wall now has an extra 23 mouse, keyboard, and headset shaped dents. It has truly been a nightmare raiding with you in 2013 and I'm absolutely not looking forward to playing with you all in Warlords in 2014.

With absolute disgust and disdain,

Your glorious leader

Matticus

comments

Polygasms I translated Matt's Post for those that can not read between the lines: Dear Guild Members, As much as I love all of y ...

Gneisha Cue Alame being defensive about being an asslicker.

Alame You've known me far to long to not realize that was sarcasm.

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